Awakenings Part 1

Long to Long to Hear My Silent Voice


To: Bhau’s Dear Ones
By email:
Date: May 24, 2001
Subject: Bhau’s Awakening of 24th May -- Long to Long
to Hear My Silent Voice

Note slight title change. Also, this was composed before Bhau’s hospitalization for his blockage on Saturday, 26th May. All references to the medical events and Poona refer to incidents prior to that date. By the time you read this, he should have been discharged from Inlaks Hospital and on his way back to Ahmednagar.

Beloved Avatar Meher Baba Ki Jai!

From Bhau:

Yesterday [Wednesday, May 23rd], I came back from Poona at 12:30 p.m., after medical tests. I had been there on the 22nd May and stayed at the Aurora Towers Hotel. Sheela, Freeman, and Max were with me. Poor Shiva remained busy with emailing. He has got a lot of work, and he remains busy continuously.

Dr. Gus had taken an appointment with the cardiologist in Poona. Dr. Anne was sick, so she had gone to Poona for a medical checkup. The doctor advised her to take a vacation, and she went to Panchgani (a hill station). Dr. Gus and his wife, Rada, had already taken an ECG and blood tests for hemoglobin, and of course, the sugar test. So it did not take much time for the other tests there in Poona. Health progress is there, but it is slow. The cardiologist has again asked me to return after a month.

When I returned from Poona, Shiva came with the emails. There were two, one from Martin and Wendy (Kura) about God and the Nervous System, and one from Dr. Tom (Mauro) regarding alternative medicine. Therefore, I sent those two emails to Dr. Gus to study and give opinion. Shiva looked at me, and he said, “You seem very low.”

I said to him, “I feel tired today.”

Yesterday, I came to know that I was still very weak. Still, I was working up to 10:00 p.m.. Shiva left, and I went to bed. I don’t know at what time I slept, but at 3:30 a.m., I heard something, and I woke up.

Then I heard, “What are you doing?”

Generally, Baba would ask me such questions. So I felt that Baba was asking me, and I said to Him, “Nothing, Baba.”

“Nothing? Nothing?” He replied. “All the time, just nothing? But do you understand what is Nothing? There is only one infinite Nothing. It is impossible to do that Nothing. If you deal with that Nothing, you become Everything. There are innumerable nothings in this infinite Nothing. You people always deal with these small nothings, and you think that you are doing something. What are you doing? You are dealing with that which has no substance.

“I am Everything. I deal with everything; it is Creation. It is innumerable nothings as well as innumerable everythings. I have to deal with these small nothings and small everythings every moment. I am responsible for these everythings and nothings. These are the medium to experience and know the Everything.

“This is such a game of illusion, that I also feel tired of this game. But you can get rid of this game one way. But I cannot get rid of it, because I am the active Everything, facing the responsibility of this Creation all the time.

“So, how to rid yourself of involvement with this nothings and everythings?

“I tell you, a simple solution. Pay attention. When I had a toddy shop in Kasbah Peth, Poona, there was one room where pictures of all the perfect masters and saints were hung on the walls. Everyday in the morning, I would perform arti there. Afterwards, I would distribute sweets in the form of prasad. So the boys and girls would come there for arti, because they would receive a good quantity of sweets.

“There was one boy, whose name was Vishnu. He was very, very regular in attending the arti because of the sweets. At the time, I was called Merwan Seth.

“One day, I asked Vishnu, ‘Where do you live?’

“‘I live very close to here,” he said.

“‘Who is there in your house?’ I asked him.

“‘My mother,’ Vishnu replied, ‘and my sister.’

“‘What about your Father?’

“‘My father is no more,’ he said.

“‘Can I visit your house?’ I asked.

“‘If you visit my house, my mother will feel very happy, because I tell her about you. That Merwan Seth is very kind and very loving. He distributes sweets everyday. So I attend his arti every morning. She knows you, Merwan Seth. So please come to my house.’

“‘All right,’ I answered. ‘I’ll come with you.’ And I went.

“When I went to his house, Vishnu said to his mother, Kakubai, ‘See. This is Merwan Seth. He gives me a lot of sweets every day.’

“‘Vishnu likes you very much,’ Kakubai said. ‘Every day he tells me about you.’

“‘Whether Vishnu goes to school?’ I asked.

“‘Yes,’ said Vishnu’s mother, ‘he does go to school. But every day he goes to the cinema.’

“‘Don’t worry about Vishnu,” I reassured her. ‘I will take care of him.’ Then I asked, ‘What are you cooking?’

“‘Rice and dal.’

“‘I like dal and rice very much,’ I said. ‘Will you give me a little?’

“‘Yes. It is ready.’ So she brought some rice and dal for Me.

“‘I ate it, and remarked, ‘It is very delicious. If I come here every day at 1l:00, will you give Me dal and rice?’

“‘Yes,’ Kakubai replied. ‘I’ll be only too happy to serve you.’

“So the next day I went at 10:00 a.m. instead of 11:00 a.m. ‘Bring me the dal and rice,’ I asked her.

“‘Merwan Seth, it is still cooking,’ Vishnu’s mother protested.

“‘Whenever I come, it should be ready,’ I said.

‘Tomorrow, I will keep it ready by 10:00 a.m.’ she promised.

“So the next day, I went at 9:00 a.m. Every day it would happen, that the dal and rice would not be ready when I would come. I went as early as 7:00 a.m. So the poor lady thought that she would have it ready by 6:00 a.m., and she would do so. I went for a few days, then stopped going.

“All of a sudden, I would go to Vishnu’s home, and I would ask, ‘Where is My dal and rice?’

“Vishnu’s mother would feel surprised. ‘If you would tell me that you would come, I would keep it ready. You did not come for so many days. Then today, you came.’

“‘I am hungry,’ I said. ‘That is why I came. Therefore, see that you feed Me when I am hungry.’

“So the poor lady would keep dal and rice ready. Sometimes I would not come for six months. Then, all of a sudden I would go. So Kakubai would prepare dal and rice and keep it ready every day, in the expectation that I would come. If I did not come, she would eat the dal and rice in the evening, thinking it was My prasad. She continued doing this, and every day she would expect me to visit her house. She came very close to me.

“When Vishnu came to Meherabad to live, his Mother also came and would stay at Meherabad. But dal and rice every day she would keep ready for me. Her whole life she was doing that, even though I would not eat it for months together. Still she continued to prepare it for Me. Till her death, Kakubai always kept dal and rice ready for Me. Through that dal and rice, she would remember Me every day.

“Only in 1925 did I stay at Meherabad for long periods. After 1927, I started visiting different places in India. But Vishnu’s mother would cook dal and rice every day. She would tell Me in her heart, ‘Baba, your dal and rice are ready. Now you come and eat.’

“So dal and rice started a longing for love in her heart. It was not ritual or a ceremony. It was her longing. When love is there, love creates longing. If anyone does anything, and love is not there, then that thing becomes ritual and ceremony.

“I want longing through love. This is sheer worship. Only the heart can do this. When you practice ritual and ceremonies, it is the voice of the mind. But when longing is within you, it is the voice of the heart. I hear only the voice of the heart. I don’t hear the language of the tongue, comprised of mantras and chanting. I don’t hear the language of the mind, comprised of meditation and concentration. I hear only the voice of the heart, which is pure love.

“I’ll give you another example. Kakabaria was one of My Mandali. He would always be at Meherazad. I would not stay at Meherazad, in fact, I would seldom come there. I started staying at Meherazad from 1957, after the accident. Kaka alone was taking care of Meherazad. What he would do? Everyday, he would keep My room clean. He would keep the drinking water in My room, expect Me at any time any day. He was very particular about it.

“Once, I went to Hyderabad in search of masts. You [Bhau] were with me. While coming back to Satara, where I was staying at the time, I thought, ‘I must visit Meherazad.’

“I reached Meherazad at 2:00 a.m. Kaka was sleeping. When Eruch woke him up, Kaka got up and saw Me. He took me into My room. He opened the lock, and what did I find? Everything was ready. The bed was ready. Drinking water was ready. I was very, very happy.

“Kaka would expect Me every day, and he would keep everything ready for Me. Early in the morning, breakfast was ready for Me. Milk also he would keep prepared. Kaka would do these because of his longing and love for Me.

“So I say to you [Bhau], ‘I want love. I want longing. I don’t want rituals or ceremonies. I don’t hear the language of the mind or the language of the tongue. I hear the voice of your heart. I long to hear that voice. So long to long to hear My silent voice. Then you will know.’

With all love and Jai Babas,

Thursday, 24th May, 2001