Latest news from Bhau

Beloved Avatar Meher Baba Ki Jai!

From Bhau:

This thought I just got, not that Baba gave me the thought, but as I was taking a walk, I was feeling very weak. So I stopped my walk. I came back into the office, where I am dictating this e-mail.

I have been passing mucus for a long time, and on Wednesday [18th September], Dr. Gus came to examine me. He also took intravenous blood and said that I had a serious intestinal infection. "If the infection is too serious, you will have to go to Pune hospital again."

This was a shock to me. I have just come out of the hospital after a 25-day stay, and again I must go to hospital!

I have a lot of work here in the Trust, and I am surrounded with different things. No one has any idea what I am surrounded with. I always call it "nuisance value." Apart from real Trust work, I have more headaches from this nuisance value. Now it is destined, so I must not complain. I must gulp everything, and know well that it is His Wish. That is why such things happen.

Saturday morning [15th September], I talked with Indian Baba lovers, and there were many.

At 4:00 p.m., I was scheduled to get an ultrasound examination. Then Dr. Gus came here, and he changed the time to 6:15 p.m. I had a talk scheduled with the staff, followed by one at the Nagar Centre [in the Trust Compound] to local Baba lovers. The change in the doctor’s appointment threw my schedule off. I could not give my staff talk.

The ultrasound was performed, and then I had to rush to attend the Centre meeting. There, I gave a long talk on Ganapati [the holiday which celebrates the birthday of Ganesh, the elephant-headed god].

Afterwards, the Auditor's family came, and I also gave a nice talk about Ganapati to them. I was in a joyful mood during my talk.

The next morning, Dr. Gus came to me, with all of the test results. "You need not go to the hospital,” he said. "I can treat the infection here with antibiotics, then we will see."

In any case, I cannot avoid the hospital, because my life now has become one with the hospital!

I have become very weak. I lay down in the bed all the time, and yet, while lying down, I still dictate letters. It is really too much for me, but I cannot complain. This suffering is out of Baba's blessing, and therefore, whatever is His Wish I must follow willingly.

I was in a fix because of these changes, and though I felt uneasy, I am always full of joy and happiness, and this is Baba's gift to me. Though I suffer and suffer, there is no sign of any complaint.

The other night, I was thinking about 31st January, 1969 and the incident which had taken place, where Baba said I was not holding the urine bottle properly. I was observing. Baba was in bed and He was getting spasm after spasm. All of a sudden, Baba felt upset that I was not holding the urine bottle properly in His bed. It was quite proper, but He got upset. Eruch saw, and he said, "Baba, he is holding the bottle properly. Please don't get upset."

I was repenting and repenting for this act; that I made Baba upset just before He dropped His body. I was repenting and repenting for this, and He appeared. He forgave me for everything. He appeared, and there was nothing. I would continuously ask for His forgiveness, and He would gesture, "I forgive you."

"Forgive me for everything, Baba?" I said to Him.

And He said, "For everything!"

He disappeared, and I know that He has forgiven me.

Then two nights later [Saturday, 14th September], I was thinking that Beloved Baba has forgiven me for everything, and that I should not worry now because there is no longer anything for me to do, nothing! I had the impression that since He had forgiven me for everything, I could join Him.

He appeared again in form. Through signs, He said to me, "That day I told you that I have forgiven you for everything. This does not mean that you can now die. Listen attentively. I have forgiven you for everything, but it does not mean that now you are free to die.

"You cannot ask to join Me. That is expectation. This expectation should not be there As long as that expectation is in you, you cannot be relieved. You must not expect anything. It is not your business, and you have no right to do so. You have to depend completely upon Me now, without any expectation.

"I am telling you that you are a medium for certain of My work. I am doing that work through you, and you don't know what work I am doing. Unless I complete that work, My medium cannot disappear. If you are thinking of disappearing physically, you are expecting something from Me.

"This expectation is against My Wish, and. you have to follow My Wish.

"So tell Me, whether you are following My Wish!?

"Even if a thought about disappearing physically comes to you, it is an obstruction, and therefore, I cannot forgive you for it.

"Remember this. The moment I finish My work, you cannot remain in your physical body. You have to get rid of this body the same instant. You cannot linger even for a moment."

Beloved Baba said this to me, and He disappeared.

Then I just prayed to Him, "Please, just help me so that I may not get such thoughts. If I remain bound, not only for this life, but another life, too, I will be happy if I am following Your Wish. I have just to follow Your Wish, and therefore, Oh Beloved, forgive me. Help me to follow Your Wish."

In His love and service,

Bhau
Trust Office
Ahmednagar, Maharashtra, India
Friday, 27th September, 2002

Back to Main Bhau Page Back to Home