To: All Dear Ones
By email:
Date:
Subject: Forbidden Railway Tracks - First in a New
Series of “Awakenings” from Bhau
Note: After dictating “Yad Rakh,” (the previous
“Awakening,” given to Bhau by Baba on 10th June,
2001), Bhau felt that Baba wanted him to focus on
Trust work. Beloved Baba had been giving him messages
in order to keep Bhau happy and cheerful, so that he
would not dwell on his suffering. Since his mind now
had to be engaged on Trust work, Bhau did not think
that he would receive any more direct messages from
Baba. Also, with Yad Rakh, the series of “Awakenings”
somehow felt complete.
Perhaps if Bhau were lucky, he would remember the
forgotten Parts II and III of “Not Remembering is Not
Forgetting,” (his “Awakening” of 21st May), as well
the message Baba had given him for Seviks and Sevikas.
(This is not true forgetfulness, this is loss of
memory due to his strokes). Fortunately, this indeed
was the case for the “Awakening” which follows, Part
II of Not Remembering is Not Forgetting.
So he did not expect any fresh “Awakenings.” But Baba
hews to His own schedule and timetable, and is ever
the most surprising One of all! In forthcoming weeks,
several new “Awakenings” will be circulated to His
dear ones.
Avatar Meher Baba Ki Jai!
From Bhau:
On Wednesday, June 13th, I was in my office with
Freeman, Max and Shiva (Lynwood) doing Trust work.
Suddenly I remembered the second part of the message
that Beloved Baba gave to me when He appeared to me in
physical form at Sheela’s house in Meherabad, at 4:00
a.m. the morning of 21st May.
That morning, Baba had appeared to me and explained to
me the difference between “not remembering” and
“forgetting.” For a few minutes I slept, then
suddenly I awoke, and Baba was again standing beside
my bed.
“Do you remember that incident at Guruprasad,” He
said, “when I asked you ‘Did you write that book which
I had asked you to write?’”
“Yes, I remember,” I said to Him. “I told You I had
not yet started.”
Baba had gotten very angry. He had said, “I don’t
want to see your face. You are good for nothing. Why
did you not do as I instructed?”
Whenever He would instruct me to write a book, the next day He would
ask, “Whether you have completed it?” Even though Baba had been upset,
He asked me to sit beside the bed [at Guruprasad] where He was lying
down.
I was thinking, “How is it possible to write a book in
a day. It is impossible. I cannot make Baba happy.
It is useless to live. I must die. But how to die?”
I thought the only solution would be to commit
suicide. Then another thought would intrude: Baba
says that suicide is very bad. No one should ever do
it. And then another thought would follow, “Who knows
whether it is good or bad?”
“Even if it is bad, it is the only solution,” I would
feel.
Yet another thought would come, “How to commit
suicide?”
So I decided that after keeping nightwatch, I must go
to the railway station, which was very close, and
sleep on the rails. A train would come, and I would
be finished.
But then the worry came, that Baba, of course, is
really very, very kind and merciful. If I could not
please Him, then it was my fault. If I did commit
suicide, Baba would be in difficulty. The police
would come. All sorts of inquiries would be made. So
I must write something so Baba would not fall under
suspicion. This was Baba’s order, that I should not
move.
Then I realized that if I wrote anything, there would
be movement. That meant I would disobey Baba’s order.
Then another thought came, that even if I disobeyed
Baba, it would be good for Him, as I was trying to
save him from difficulty.
Therefore I must write the note. I tried to get up.
As soon as I tried, Baba took a turn in the bed, and I
sat down. I tried thrice. Each time, He would take a
turn, and I would sit down.
Then I thought, “Baba is not allowing me to write. He
will have to face the difficulties, so it is not my
fault. He is not allowing me to write anything to
save Him.”
It went on like this for eight hours.
Then it was 4:00 a.m., and I had to leave. I stood up
in front of Baba’s bed, and I prayed to him, “Baba,
tomorrow you will not see my face. Though I tried to
my best to save You from trouble with the police, You
did not allow me. Please, forgive me. I tried my
best.”
As soon as I crossed the doorstep, I forgot that I had
to go to the railway station. I went to my bed and
slept. When I woke up, I thought, “How did this
happen? I wanted to commit suicide, and I could not
do it.”
So Baba reminded me about this incident, and He said,
“Know well, I am all-knowing. I know everything. No
one can hide anything from Me. Therefore, in your
life, whatever you do, know well, that I know. Never
think that I don’t know. And don’t try to hide
anything from Me. I am thousands of times closer than
your very breath. So whatever you do, whatever you
think, I know that. I’m your very life.”
Early this morning when Baba came to me, there were
some intervals in His appearance. I would sleep for
five minutes, and Baba would reappear. This went on
for two and one half hours. The above is the second
part of Baba’s message that was given to me that
morning [21st May], and as far as the third part, let
it come.
With all love and Jai Babas to you,
In His love and service,
Bhau
Trust Office
Ahmednagar, MS, India
Wednesday, 14th June, 2001
PS. Coming soon: Two new “Awakenings” from Bhau: Narad’s Killing Glance,
and Krishna’s Gopis; Baba’s Arjuna.
