Today [Tuesday, June 5, 2001], the doctor came in the morning, and he examined me. He has permitted me to take semi-solid, soft food from today. The i.v. was stopped, though the catheter is still in used to give me antibiotics and pain medication. The taste in my mouth is very bad. Though I am allowed to eat soft food, I don’t have any appetite.

At about 2:00pm, when I was in bed to take rest, Freeman came, and Anne, Max and Shiva went to eat. While lying in bed, I was thinking about Beloved Baba. All of a sudden, I felt as if Baba were talking with me.

He said, “Remember this: the spiritual path cannot be understood. Everyone has a different set of sanskaras. Therefore, everyone requires a different remedy. There cannot be the same remedy for everyone. Know well, God does not listen to the language of the tongue, which constitutes mantras and chanting. God does not listen to the language of the mind, which constitutes meditation and concentration. God listens only to the language of the heart, which is love.

“How can one get this love?

“Love is the grace of God. Therefore, obedience is the only solution.

“I tell you that I am infinitely active at present. I am wiping out the unnatural impressions of everyone, gradually, gradually. It is an infinitely difficult task, because everyone is very much attached with their unnatural impressions. Because of these unnatural impressions, low desires are increasing and increasing in everyone. Therefore, utmost honesty is required.

“Now what is honesty?

“Honesty is not to follow your false self, but to follow your higher self. That is the command of the Master. Honesty is really important. I’ll tell you one example.

“There was one king in India named King Harischandra. He was a very, very honest person. One day he had a dream, and in his dream, sage Vishwamitra appeared. The king asked him, ‘What do you want from me, O Sage?’

“‘If you so want,’ the sage replied, ‘give me your whole kingdom without keeping anything back for yourself.’

“The king was delighted, and he said, ‘It is given to you. Now you are the king.’

“And the sage left.

“The king woke up. He thought about the sage. ‘Now this kingdom belongs to him. It does not belong to me. I’ve already given everything to him.’

“He was waiting and waiting for the sage.

“At last the sage came. King Harischandra bowed down to him, and said, ‘Now, you take care of your kingdom. It is your kingdom now.’

“‘You are handing over the charge of your kingdom to me in order to fulfill your promise,’ the sage said. ‘But there is the custom that when you meet any sage, you must give them dakshina (gift).’

“Now, because he had given his kingdom to Vishwamitra, the king did not have anything of his own, and he could not take anything from his own kingdom. So he told the sage, ‘Please wait for some time, and I will give you your dakshina. Please wait.’

“And the sage agreed.

“The king left his kingdom along with his wife and his one son, Parikshit, and went to Benares [Varanasi]. He was searching for a job, but he could not find one. With great difficulty, the queen obtained a job as a cook in the house of a very cruel, high-caste Brahmin. King Harischandra obtained a position in the cremation grounds. His job was to collect a tax whenever a dead body would come.

“One day, prince Parikshit was bitten by a cobra, and he died. The Brahmin was so cruel, that he did not give the queen any money for the prince’s cremation. The queen, weeping, carried the dead body of her son on her shoulder to the cremation ground. King Harischandra recognized the dead body of his son. He also recognized his queen, but said, ‘I am appointed here to collect the tax. Therefore, I cannot permit you to cremate our child unless you pay the tax.’

“‘I have nothing,” the Queen replied. ‘I have nothing else, only this sari.’

“Her husband, the king, replied, ‘I cannot allow you to cremate our child until you pay the tax. So you must give half of your sari by way of the tax.’

“‘Whatever you like, you can take,” the queen replied. She offered her sari to Harischandra and asked him to cut it in half, and take half of it for the tax.

“The king was about to cut of his wife’s sari when the sage Vishwamitra appeared, and said to the king, ‘I was testing your honesty. And you passed my test. I am very much touched with your honesty. Now go back to your kingdom and rule over it.’

“And Prince Parikshit woke up on the queen’s shoulder, as if he had only been sleeping.

Baba then said, “Honesty is to win the victory over your false self. Each person has a higher self (Reality), and lower self, false self. So long as your false self is there, you will remain attached to falsehood. So what is the aim of life? To get rid of your false self. Because everyone remains attached to the false self, when I work to detach them from the false self, he or she suffers. It happens because of the attachment.

“Now you tell me, what should I do? Though it is painful, should I not get you detached from this false self? I have to do that. This is my responsibility. And still you suffer and cry. I have to be very, very careful. I also give you strength and courage to face this suffering. I have to be very, very alert, all the time.

“Have you any idea how much I suffer for this responsibility? I am everyone and everything. So you suffer individually. I suffer collectively. That is why no one can get any idea about My infinite suffering.

“So do not think that you are suffering. Don’t think that you are obliging Me by suffering. You must think how much I am suffering for you and for everyone. I will never be free from this suffering. I am eternally in bliss, and I am eternally suffering. I will never be free from this responsibility.

“God is the reality, and Creation is God’s shadow. God is eternal, and therefore, the shadow is also eternal. Therefore, I will never be free from my responsibility.

“So always remember, when you suffer, you must think that how much I must be suffering for you. When you think about my suffering, you will forget your own suffering.

“So now be happy. And don’t worry.”

Ps. Coming on July 10th, Silence Day, “Yad Rakh” (Remember This) -- Bhau’s Final “Awakening”